Walter loves like Jesus

     When Walter wakes up in the morning I let him out of his kennel and he sprawls out on the floor and we start our morning routine.  Schmylee comes running, and we sing our good morning song as I pet them both.  Finally, after about 5 minutes Walter decides that it is time to go outside so he goes and does his business.  Then he eats breakfast, plays a little bit, and we do lots of cuddling.  He likes to go out on the balcony and spy on the neighbors.  He loves to play with Schmylee.  Playing in the snow and going on walks are some of his favorite things to do.  His second most favorite thing to do is go to daycare.  But, his all time favorite thing to do is love.

                                 
     Now remember that Walter does not read.  He has never read the Bible.  I do not read the Bible to him.  I don't read my devotional to him.  I don't read any of my "Jesus" books to him.  I pray with him around, but I don't pray with him.  Yet, somehow, He seems to have mastered loving like Jesus better than most humans I know including myself.
     One of the most quoted bible verses about love is this 1Corinithians13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.
     This is exactly how Walter loves.  Walter loves without question.  He loves all those who he comes in contact with.   I don't know if I have ever seen him growl or get angry.  He does not love only certain people or dogs he loves across the board without question.  When we get up from a nap he is so excited to see me he comes in for a long cuddle and pets as if to show me how much he loves me and missed me that hour we weren't together.  He trusts me with his life.  He knows with everything in his heart that I am not going to hurt him and I am going to love him and take care of him.  He loves so hard that we are having to teach him in school to not get so excited when he sees people, and other dogs that he wants to love!

   I tend to think I love pretty well, but I have to really work at it and it is really Jesus working through me.  I get envious.  I get angry and say things I don't mean.  I will bring things up from the past in an argument.  I have very little patience at times, especially while driving.  I rarely pray for patience as I feel like the God puts me in situations where my patience is tested.  I have trust issues and have lost hope more times than I can count.  I have failed those I love over and over and over again.

      James 5:16 says "Confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed."  Now Walter can't really come up to me and say sorry mom that I didn't come when you called and decided to run up to the jogger instead.  He does show me with his actions right away though.  He curls in close and looks at me with the sweetest eyes you ever did see.  He doesn't make excuses, he is just sorry.
     I on the other hand am not always the best on apologies.  I will always apologize.  I sometimes have to throw in a reason why I did what I did.  I will sometimes remind you of a time when you did the same thing, as if that somehow  lessens my poor behavior.  I am really good at professing my sins to God, but it is much harder to do with the people in my life.  Although I make many mistakes and do my best to apologize it is definitely an area I could be more like Walter.
     The Bible say do not be afraid in some form or another 366 times.  There are 2 things that Walter is afraid of, vacuums and big trucks/busses.  My list of fears would take up 3 pages of paper.  Although I am able to keep them in check for the most part, they are there.  We live in a fear based world.  For people who are to live under a faithful God live in a large amount of fear and portray that to others.  Fear the Muslims.  Fear the Gays.  Fear the government is coming for your guns.  Fear the liberals.  Fear those who don't believe like you.  This is not what Jesus teaches us.  Jesus teaches us to love.  I don't live in those fears or project them on others.  Those fears goes directly against my moral beliefs and Jesus teaching of loving our neighbor.
     You might be thinking that it is unrealistic to compare an animal and a human as our brain complexities are much different.  You may be right.  What I do know is that if we could all just learn to love a little more like Walter, we would be living out Jesus' love everyday.  This tells me that loving people is really just that simple.  We are the ones that complicate it.  I am fortunate to have Walter, the Bible, and so many wonderful people in my life to remind me of the unconditional love of which I aspire to daily.

Rollin' on the Red In-line Marathon

     Well, Jules Had another adventure planned for me on Saturday, I got to hand out medals at the 2nd annual Rollin' on the Red In-line Marathon.  I was excited about this adventure, Jules talks about skating a lot so I wanted to see what this was like compared to the Roller derby.  The actual adventure started On Friday night.  We went to a place called the Canadinns for a skate and fitness expo.

again with the hanging me

   The Expo was great.  We got free water bottles from Altru, and wrote out cards saying what we would work on in to be healthier in the next year.  Then we made melt a bead projects, I think they were for kids but the nice ladies told us that they were for kids of all ages and let us do one.  We got our shirts for Saturday.  We also say these inline skates.  Wow, they are amazing.  Jules was awestruck by them.  She really wished she could try them.  You could see she was a little sad by this.  I know you all see her as happy go lucky, but she does get sad a lot about the things she isn't able to do anymore.  Finally, because we were volunteering we were treated to a delicious pasta buffet.  My belly was full, and to top it off they had slushies 

for dessert, Jules and my favorite.

I got to meet some of the race big wigs while I was at the expo

     On the way home from the race Jules and I talked about her skating days.  She talked about how she loved to skate.  She started skating basically as soon as she could walk.  She grew up in Minnesota so there was lots of pond hockey in the winter and rollerblading in the summer.   She not only loved to do it but used it as a method of transportation.  She loved to go on the half pipe and skate.  She worked at a roller rink for 3 years in college and said it was the best job ever.  She talks with such passion about it.  I ask her how it makes her feel to not skate.  She says the fact that she will never skate again is heart breaking.  Worse than the fact that she will never pee again.  that makes me feel sad so I change the subject, and tell her how great it is that she is walking better.  She says people do that to her all the time, they don't want to hear the negative.  I begin to think of her as a skater and I chuckle.  She is such an airhead ADD I don't imagine her ever being able to complete a marathon.  I tell her that and we laugh and she agrees.

     It is race day!!! It is 6:30 and the alarm is going off.  I am starting to think that my old assignment at grandma and grandpas house was a lot better gig.  We get in the car and off to the marathon we go. It is freezing cold out too.  When we arrived I couldn't believe  how many people were there.  Skaters and volunteers.   The skaters were lined up at the starting line and waiting for some lightning to pass.  and they had some crazy looking skates on.  There were men, women, and even kids with hockey helmets.  Jules didn't seemed fazed at all by this.  She said this is hockey town those kids will beat half the adults here.  There were over 250 skaters there.  They came from all over Minnesota, Canada, and even Kansas.  How awesome is that!!!  Then I looked up and who should I see???  Bettie and Hellga!!!  I was so excited to see them there.  Way to represent the forx roller derby!  ps. They did an awesome job!

how awesome are they???

Look at all those skaters

     After the we watched all the skaters take off and made sure to cheer on Bettie and Hellga, we had work to to do...but wait...who is that I see.  I see a man in a suit so I figure it is someone important.  Jules tells me it is mayor Mike Brown and Lt. governor Drew Wrigley.  Well of course I had to take a picture with them.  They were so nice to take a picture with us and so friendly, asking me all about my blog.  Mayor Brown even gave me a Grand Forks pin.  Unfortunately I can't vote, but if I could I would vote for them!!!

     Now back to work.  We had to get all the finisher medals and lay them out on the table so the would be ready for the racers when they came in.  This is the best volunteer job there is.  You get to congratulate every racer for the huge accomplishment that they just achieved.  

Here I am with all the medals

     The skaters started coming in ( I couldn't believe how fast they were) and I got to start handing out medals.  Well Jules handed out medals and I just watched and listened.  It was so cool to watch.  Everyone was smiling, even through exhaustion and pain.  Jules was smiling and seemed to have a glow about her as well, i was confused I thought she would be sad.  All the skaters were so grateful.  It seemed like every third one talked about how great the race was set up and how grateful they were to all the volunteers who were cheering them on.  They were saying it was so organized and they can't wait til next year. (me either...I hope I am still here).  I did such a good job I got a medal too.   266 medals later we were done.  

I did so good they let me have a medal too!!!

        We were done by 10:30am, enough time to go back to bed, before we went to visit with Al.  On the way home I asked Jules about that glow she had, and why she wasn't sad.  She told me that doing stuff like this helps her grieve what she can't do, but also shows her how she can still participate and have fun.  She said to see the look in the eyes of those skaters and still be able to relate helps her.  As much as she desires to skate again she must adjust to a life of not skating and what better way to do that than to help celebrate victory of other skaters...

     It was a great morning!!!  Thanks to Laura and her team for allowing me to participate.

I hope you enjoyed this blog...

Until the next adventure...stay safe, stay sane, and stay beautiful America!!!

Stripes 

Roller derby and a visit with Al

     I was so excited this morning.  Jules told me last night that I was going to my first every Roller derby bout.  So I got up early and stretched, ate a carb filled breakfast, and got my derby gear on was ready to go.  Much to my disappointment Jules said we weren't playing the roller derby game we were watching it.   So we packed up the car and off to Crookston we went!!!

Seriously hanging me from a sign is pretty scary and I did not find it necessary, but I am not the boss!!!

    

     The bout started and let me tell you I am very very very VERY glad that Jules did not let me play.  Those ladies are hard core.  The are fast and they are furious.  Did you get that little reference that I used there.  They taught us that in training in New York.  Anyhow they hit each other so hard knocking each other to the ground with such force you could hear the sound of impact like a gun shot.  I don't know how they continued to get up and skate. Yeah they wore fishnet and stockings but these ladies were no less athletes than any other athlete I have ever seen.  They all had super cool and clever names too.  

     I think the thing that impressed me the most about these women was the sisterhood that they shared.  If you don't know Jules' story she suffered a traumatic brain injury playing this very sport.  The team we went to play was evidently the team she played on.  It has been almost bee two years since she played on that team.  All those girls came over and talked to her, at separate times.  I thought that was really cool.  She said they always make her feel like she is still a part of the team.  She calls them her sisters.  I  guess that this sisterhood is throughout the whole derby community, not just in one town but everywhere.  She said that if your in derby you are instantly part of a community, world wide.  She said she has many friends in North Dakota from Williston, Fargo and Bismark that she stays in touch with through something like ummm facebook that are her sisters only from derby, but hold a special place in her heart.  I think that is really cool.

here we are before the game

     This was awesome...Betty from Willeston took me for a spin around the rink.  I had no idea how fast they went.  I thought I was going to throw up.  It was like a carnival ride, but they didn't have a sign up that said you have to be this tall to ride.  I thought it was fun but I was super scared.  Thank goodness no one gave us a hip check.  I heard Bettty is moving to Fargo so she might be here more often so that would be super cool.  

can you believe they all just just done beating the s#%t out of each other????

     After the bout we were off to Fargo to see Jules' friend Al in the hospital.  I was a little nervous because you never know how it is going to be when you visit someone in the hospital.  I never really know how I am suppose to act or what I am suppose to say.  After 10 minutes with Al I knew everything was going to be ok.  He even took a picture with Jules' and I and told me I could tell his story.

     I guess you may have heard of Al because Jules may have asked you to pray for him, some times over the last few months.  Al has been in the hospital since February 19th, two of those month in the ICU.  The chance that he will get out of the hospital are pretty much slim to none.  The last time that he has been out of his bed was July 4th and that was for about half an hour to watch the fireworks!  It would be too complicated to go into his whole health history, and everything that is going on with him, I don't understand it  all and also that is pretty personal.  Here is what you mainly need to know, before going in...he was a mostly healthy man (he did have copd) and now the doctors  have told him that he will not likely see Christmas.

     I was amazed at our visit.  This man was probably the strongest man that I have ever met.  He did actually remind me a lot of Dave on my old assignment.  We were there for about 4 hours and never complained to us.  He did get a bit grumpy with having to do cares and things but who wouldn't.  He laughed and laughed.  He did have some comments and real insightful thoughts of his imminent death, but didn't dwell on it.  He believes part of his purpose is to help nurses and doctors learn how to deal with long term patients.    he does have the option that he could take steps that would end his life sooner, but he says he enjoys living too much.   I couldn't believe it.  He is suffering so much and here he was laughing and joking and saying he enjoys living.  Then he buys dinner for everyone saying it feels nice to give back to people. Jules visits every Saturday, I hope I get to go with her every week.  He truly is an amazing man.  I hope you all continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers!!!

After such a long day I couldn't even sit on the hospital entrance sign!!!

I hope you enjoyed this blog....

Until the next adventure...stay safe, stay sane, and stay beautiful America!!!

Stripes

   

     

Stripes

     Hi my name is Stripes and this is Jules.  Well I think you all know Jules, but not me.  I am going to be taking over Jules blog for a little while.  We are going to go on adventures I am going to take pictures and write about what we did on our adventures.  Some of them will be things that are normal everyday living things and others will be big adventures that we take together.  I am really excited to be here on this assignment!
     So, let me tell you a little bit about myself.  I was born in China, but was quickly sent to New York.  I spent about 1 year in training in New York.  They talked about the different kind of assignments that we might asked to go on.  My favorite was parkour training.  I do hope one of my assignments is american ninja warrior, but i doubt it.  So my first assignment was to keep these five little kids happy and content in Eden Prairie, Minnesota.  I lived with Mary and Dave, the grandparents  it was a pretty good gig.  The kids were a little rough on me but I loved them.  They would hold me and cuddle me and carry me around.  Dave died last year, and we were all very sad.  He loved all those kids.  Turns out my mission there was complete, and the weird thing is, Jules is Mary's daughter.  When I got here I was very happy to see lots of pictures of the people I fell in love with in THE EP.  (we were not suppose to do that) so I already feel at home and hope that I might get to see them again.

     I sure like all of the animals here.  There were no animals on my last assignment.  Ralphie is a big dog that doesn't seem very smart, but is super friendly.  Lucy is little.  She didn't seem to care to much about me, but when I arrived she sniffed me A LOT and wagged her tail.  It must be my new cologne.  Then there is a baby tiger Charlie.  He is really nice for a tiger.  I don't know how long they can keep them until they have to release them into the wild.  There also is this like one year old cat Schmlyee that comes and goes with a friend of Jules.  She is really nice too but kind of an airhead as well.  We all took a really fun picture together.  I enjoyed it, but they didn't seem to thrilled about it.

    Well, I think that is it for now.  I hear tomorrow we are going to something called roller derby and to see Jules friend Al....Jules set me up. She got me a Sioux hat saying I will have to be a Sioux hockey  fan to live in her house.  She also let me wear her brand new Suzy Hotrod T-shirt, cause derby is again a must!!!  I am not so sure about all this?!?!?!
Until the next adventure..stay safe, stay sane, and stay beautiful America...
Stripes

starting over

     Fear, faith, confusion, pain, love, anger, joyfulness, grief, helplessness, gratitude,  hopelessness, hopeful, despair, pity, amazed, disheartened, annoyed, excited, denial, worried, optimistic, tired, lonely, strong, and finally acceptance.   These are all feelings I have experienced in the last 3and 1/2 weeks.  Sometimes I feel them all in one day.  I wish my feelings weren't so complex.  I wish it were just black and white, but it isn't and I guess that is what makes me a human.  A God loving, Child of God.  I will get to that later, but I suppose that I better tell the story first.

     IN 9/2010 I suffered a traumatic brain injury doing one of things I loved most, playing roller derby.  They pretty much said I wouldn't walk again.  Well within in the last 4 months things were going really well and I was walking.  I still had a very long way to go but was planning on doing a 5k walk with my family at thanksgiving.  I was struggling a bit with the fact that I would never get to do all the physical things I used to, you can refer to an old post for that.  

     Fast forward to 3/28.   Now the information for the next week is hear say because I don't remember much of it.  Somehow when I was at the gym that day they found me with a weight bar over my face.  I did not know where I was or who Katey and Rachel were.  They brought me over to the er.  From the er they admitted me to the hospital for 3 days.  My memory was still bad at times I had no idea where I was, I was unable to walk, my speech was distorted, I couldn't keep anything down, I could barely see out of my right eye, my head was pounding and all I cared about was wanting to swim!  I know people came to visit, 2 of them being katey and rachel (because my ruminating went from "when can I swim" to "rachel said no swimming") but I don't remember so If you did thank you!!!  I was allowed to go home Friday but things didn't go so well at home.  I still was very confused, I ended up very dehydrated, I lost 3 pounds in the 2 days I was there and ended up with a uti, which makes you even more confused.  So Rachel and Katey send me back to the er (I of course wanted to go to scheels first to check out the summer life is good selection, to no avail) to get me hydrated and admitted into the rehab.

     Again the first night and day are a bit of a blur, until hydration and antibiotics kicked in.  When I did start remembering, I remembered what wonderful care and treatment I receive at altru rehab.  My physical therapist Tamara, always met me with a smile, was so encouraging and made every workout fun yet exhausting.  The nurses (especially Kim, Sasha and Christine) are amazing.  You can tell that they are truly invested in you and your recovery.  They treat you as an individual.  They treat you with love and kindness.  They treat you with gentleness, care and as if they have all the time in the world for you.  Even the housekeepers are amazing.  Always arranging your stuffed animals, even making a tied fleece blanket for me.  All the while Katey and Rachel were checking in on me to see how I was doing.  I had my ipad with me so I didn't miss any skype's which was great for my heart and soul and the dogs came to visit for an hour every night which made my stay more bearable as well!!! The woman in the room next to me had a code blue when I was up there.  If you have never heard one of them in person they are very loud and scary.  They are just like they are on Grey's.  Kim was there that morning when it happened.  She must have spent 3 hours that day with me just talking about it.  I honestly can not say enough great things about the treatment I receive there.  I really wish everyone could see it as I do...

     I am home now which makes me very very very happy.  I am able to have my babies around all the time, except when Lucy goes to tam's on the weekend.  I have dvr, so no commercials.  I can do what I want, when I want. I can stay up late and sleep in late if I want. No buzzers, bells and things beeping.  I get to go outside.  All in all it is just better to be home.

     Sounds great huh...nope it sucks.   I am back to imprisonment.  Stuck in my wheelchair.  The only time I am allowed to walk is at therapy.  I am not allowed to walk at home because it is not safe and I want to walk on my toes and that would reteach my brain the wrong way to walk.  No gym, No pool...the 2 things that made me feel like a normal human being.  (now I do get to do 15 mins on the nustep).  I can not tie my shoes.  There is a whole week of my life I pretty much don't remember.  I have basically lost all the independence.  i have to sit on the floor to shower because I am too wobbly on the shower chair.  My headache is consistanly at a 3.  After 2 hours of therapy I am exhausted and spent for the day.  No movies, no derby, nothing overstimulating, so pretty much nothing more than therapy and lying on the couch watching TV.  This blog post so far has taken me 5 hours because I have to stop and rest so often.  Most everything I want to do, I have to ask someone before doing it.  Reading books is out, following a story line is just too much.  things that used to come with such great ease are now difficult again.  I never go a day without hearing the word relearn.  I could make it a drinking game.  If you give me instructions and there are more than two steps forget it I can't do it.  I can't answer this question..."it takes 30 minutes to sew 6 Christmas stockings.  How long will it take to complete 15?".  All the progress I made was gone in the flash of an eye.  So am I mad yup.  Am I frustrated YES I AM!!!  What happens if I hit my head again?  I don't know and that scares me.  Will I get everything back?  I dont know they say so.  I AM SCARED!!!  I AM IRRITATED, ANNOYED, IN PAIN, FEARFUL, and CONFUSED...yes it sucks!!!  

    So do I have a right to complain?  Yes i do, we all do cause life can throw us some crappy turns.  I do have a choice though whether I choose to stay in that or I choose to see my blessing and be grateful.  Well today I choose to see the many blessings that God has granted me.  First, I am so loved.  I am a child of God who is loved so much that it isn't even possible to know how much He loves me.  I have a loving family, including a special bond with a 4 year old that I didn't think was even humanly possible to love like that.  I have friends who love me as if I am their family. I am their family of choice.  I have a team of therapist who know me so well and support, encourage and work with me way above and beyond what is asked of them and their job.  I have cheering section in heaven louder than any I have ever heard. All my basic needs are met, add some.  I have the most beautiful loving babies, who are cared for by so many.  When I came home from the hospital there were all these colorful tacky windmill things in front of my window.  Why???  my friends out them there because charlie likes to look at them.  I have prayer warriors around the country!  I have a bible that I can read out in the open whenever I want without persecution.   I have a God that loves me so much that he sent  his one and only son to die for me so that I could go to heaven.  All the beauty on this earth, if I were the only person on earth, He still would have made it for me.  I have a huge recovery chance.  I have a great amount of people who believe in my recovery.  I have the internet machine so I can get support from all my friends, and skype with my Soph and Lauren.  I am ok with who I am today.  If anyone ever picks on me I have a bunch of tough derby girls who will kick their butts.  I can smile and laugh.  I believe if you can't laugh, you can't do much.  I have the ability to make people smile.  I refuse to be the hidden candle, I want God's light to shine through me.  Even though sometimes I make some pretty ugly shadows, I hope people can see through the ugliness and find a piece of God in it.  I AM BLESSED!!!

      

     So today I won't just pray about what seems logical and possible.  I will pray HARD about the impossible.  I believe that God will show me that NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING is impossible with Him...Ever...Period...End of story...

Easter

Well, it is Easter time so I thought I would give you a little insight into what goes through my mind when I read the story. I would love to give you my full account of feeling and thoughts and experiences starting at Ash Wednesday all the way through Easter Sunday but that story would probably write a whole book so I will spare you of that :). Easter to me is the most sacred of holidays. It is the time God's greatest promise came true. It is the time that God made it possible for me to spend eternity with him even though I am an unworthy sinner. Ok so I don't know how this is going to work is just might be a cluster f&$k, I think I will just tell the story injecting my thoughts.
So, the last supper. Imagine actually being there and hearing Jesus say "this is my body". Knowing what I know today what a gift that would be, but back in the day I think I would be much more questioning. ***Side note...my feelings on the disciples are that they had doubts. I think at times they thought to themselves they were nuts.***Ok back to the story, so when Jesus lifted up the bread, I probably would have been whispering to the disciple next to me that he was cracked. I often think of that question that people ask..."if you could have dinner with any 3 people dead or alive who would it be?"...at least 50% of the people say Jesus. I am one of those people. Knowing what I know now, had I been there I would have been attached at his hip taking in every word, every movement, every sound, every sight, every smell, and every touch. Knowing that it would be some of my last moments with him. One of the gifts of Dave's death was we knew he was going to die ahead of time so I was able to spend time doing just that with him. But those disciples, no matter how many times Jesus told them they woudn't believe he was going to die. I don't blame them, I would have been like, "ok Jesus you just keep thinking that". Poor guy always thinking he is going to de this horrible death.
So Jesus takes the three of them out to the woods to guard him so he can pray, and what do those goons do? Fall asleep...not once, not twice, but three times!!! Here Jesus is pleading to God to spare him the horrible torture that he knows he is going to endure and his disciples can't even stay awake. So this part of the story is a turning point in my faith. Whenever I get down on myself for questioning the way the life is, or questioning God's plan for me I remember this. I envision Jesus on his knees weeping begging God to not have him do this. I am reminded that even Jesus had moments of doubts, moments of weakness, and moments where he did not want to stay on the path. Now the key is the second part of the prayer which is pretty simple...thy will be done...so, even though Jesus was not a fan of God's plan and he let him know that he still trusted and was faithful enough to continue on the journey God placed him on. The prayer is simple enough to say, but the follow through that is the hard part. Yes I have cried, begged, wept, and pleaded that God change this path, so far the answer has been the same as Jesus...no, although I am not. Huge fan of my path right now I will place my hand in his and walk with him until HE lets go. I hope that you are sleeping like the disciples yet.
Now we come to probably the most hated, but I feel most misunderstood person of the bible. Judas. Judas is th betrayer. Judas turned jesus over, basically selling him out for a bag of money and to make matters worse sealing it with a kiss. But here is the deal about judas, we don't know the whole situation as to why he did what he did. We also know without his betrayal how could the rest of the story unfold. I think that what matters most about judas is the guilt and shame that judas carried, so much so that he killed himself, and how ironic that is within the crucifixion. Who of you at some time in your life, for sure junior high, were judas? I have been. More times than I would like to admit. Remember how it feels. Remember how the guilt and shame eats at you. Remember how your heart physically aches because you caused another harm. Judas gets that. Now, have you had a judas in your life, I think we all have. How much easier is it to forgive them than it is yourself. Because that is what we do to people we love. We forgive. The problem with judas, the where we can get in trouble with is not accepting that forgiveness. Even if earthly situations are not forgiven you are forgiven by God. That is the forgiveness that I must receive to make my heart whole. When I receive God's forgiveness I forgive others and myself much easier. So next tie you're gonna rag on judas maybe cut him a little slack.
So now the public has decided to let this horrible murderer guy (like a Charles Manson of biblical times) go free and instead have Jesus crucified. Are you kidding me. Here is a man who has never harmed a single person, who has been beaten to a pulp, and you are going to crucify him because of who he says he is and let crazy eyes go. Fear. They were really just scared I think. So make the problem go away. Also probably some of that crazy mob mentality, ya know like one "Casey Antony". That's ok because God has a plan remember.
It is decided Jesus will be crucified along side two other criminal. I'll have you know I was "saved" for at least a year before I knew crucifixion was a common form of execution back then. Anyways, Jesus must carry his own cross. Now his cross is actually ours. His cross Is the sins of our world. He must die so that we can have eternal life. But we all have our own crosses to carry. Some crosses that have been handed to us, one of mine would be head injury. Some crosses are crosses we have chosen to pick up, one of mine would be drugs and alcohol. We all have them, they are just different and they change throughout our journey. The question I ask myself is, How do I chose to carry my cross. Do I carry it like Jesus. Jesus didn't stop, Jesus didn't say hey how bout a drink, Jesus didn't cry, Jesus didn't stomp his feet, Jesus was gracious to the man who helped him, Jesus fell many times on that trip and he got up every time as that cross got heavier and heavier. Jesus carried his cross with grace, dignity, honor, humility, courage and faith. This is how I want to carry my crosses. Doesn't always happen. Threw a tantrum fit for a 5 year old in therapy out of frustration the other day, but I try to carry them like Jesus. The other thing about carrying your crosses I have found is it helps if i have people around me to help me hold my cross, and remember that no matter what God is always there to carry the majority of the cross for me as long as i move my feet.
Now that he has made the horrific journey to the place of his death, Jesus is nailed to the to live out his destiny here on earth. As he hang bloody, beaten, bruised, dirty, and practically naked the man next to him asks for forgiveness. Now had it been me on that cross I would ave been like are you kidding me dude. But this is Jesus and in his steadfast grace, love, and empathy Jesus gives him a lengthy you are good in my father's eyes kid speech. They mocked him, "if you are the son of god come off that cross". Jesus doesn't argue, get sarcastic, or hurl insults back instead he says "forgive them father, they know not what they do.". WOW!!! Can I do this in my daily life in small situations??? Finally Jesus cries out, "why have you forsaken me". Again, a moment of weakness, a moment that shows why I need the trinity. I can't relate to an omnipotent man, or a spirit...but I surely can relate to a man crying out in pain questioning God even with great faith. Jesus takes his last breath. Then a whole bunch of environmental stuff happens.
Jesus is all wrapped up and put in a cave with a huge rock rolled in front of it. Jesus is dead, and the disciples are mourning. But why, he has told them he will rise again??? Because they we're human. Were they too caught up in their grief, maybe they thought no god would let their son suffer like that, or maybe they figured he was just wacked. But then it happens, the promise is fulfilled. The rock is rolled away and Jesus's body is gone. Would have hated to be that guard. An angel comes down and tells them "HE IS RISEN!!!GO TELL EVERYONE!!!"
Ñow imagine you are Thomas and you already have tos of questions. By the way if I lived back then I would be way worse than doubting Thomas. You here people talking, spreading the good news. Jesus has risen. He has come back. He really is the son of god. Some people will believe because they believe with all their heart that he is the son of god. Some will believe because everyone else does. Some will say they believe but don't. And finally some like Thomas and I will believe, but will ask a million questions. Not much different from today huh???
So god said he would send his one and only son to earth, to die for our sin so we could have eternal life. He did just that. Everyday I am thankful that I serve a god that love e that much!!! If you have read this whole post I am impressed. I do not profres to be a scholar or anything of the such. I may even have some of my facts wrong. This is strictly my point of view. And I hope you all know the word story does not mean fiction to me...happy Easter
Happy birthday Dave, I am sure you had the most amazing party in heaven today!!!

the simple things in life!!!

     So often I am absorbed in the big things in life that I forget to find time to enjoy the small thing in life.  I am not just talking about a smile and moving on with my day, I am talking about really living in the moment and enjoying it and cherishing it.  I find that I do a really good job of doing this with the God stuff.  You know what I am talking about. The beauty in the trees, the way the sun shines just right to create a rainbow, the smell of rain, the power of human touch, things like that.  So what I decided to do was the last couple week I tried to be really mindful of things and take the time to enjoy them.  I jotted a few of them down to share with you.  This was by no means the whole list but some I thought you may enjoy...
*first of all, I actually took that moon picture myself.  I have never been able to quiet myself enough to do it.
*Rosie, She is an old lady I work out with at the gym and when she is done she gets off her machine, throws her hands in the airs and YELLS, "all done".  Friday she told me she hates the treadmill people "they can go to hell she say".  in her sweet little old lady voice.
*6 unanswered goals.
*a text message from an old friend I haven't talked to in about 9 months simply saying "I love you"
*the way Lucy wags her tail just because you look at her.
*the skype phone ringing on a non skype night, the excitement in Sophia's voice when I answer even though 99.99% of the time I am here to answer an I look up to see her with a flashlight head thingy on.  "do I look silly aunt julie".
*a card in the mail from my grandma, she calls me #1 because I was the first girl born.
*opening the bible and the perfect passage popping out.
*the way Ralphie gives the perfect hugs.  he may not know his name but the boy knows how to hug.
*how the first thing Ralphie does when he walks in is run and say his hellos and get lovin, then runs and barks at the refrigerator.
*a stick salute.
*a warm shower.
*hearing kids on a trampoline.
*how even though Charlie is 20 pounds (yes 20 pounds he was just at the vet) he is the gentlest cat in the world and is just a lover.
*the willingness of so many people to pray for my friend Al even though they have never met them.
*a clean house.
*being with a grown man as he shares his tears with you over your hurting friend.
*overheard at the pool, "I went into the hot tub and you wouldn't believe how many people.....had tattoos"
*the ability to walk Lucy.
*wearing rain boots.
*the way Lucy and Ralphie get so excited to see you.
*pt to young patient at the pool, "some of your biggest muscles are in your bum"...patient "no your brain is your biggest muscle."  in that young people disgusted voice.
*getting my new running shoes in the mail.
*the way my hats make people smile.
*the man who opens the car door at the rehab telling me I am there too often.
*little Elly at the pool maybe 4, barely ever does what is asked of her, and never on the first asking.  There is a girl Chelsy with cp who is maybe 25 looked at Elly and said "hi Elly"...Elly swifly swam over to her and said, "here I am"  even her therapist couldn't help smiling.
*Sophia being so sad that her favorite park was "under construction" that she had to call me.
* a man who lives in my building sick of people laughing at his grocery getter...I am going to put a bumper sticker on here that says "don't laugh your mom might be in here.
*the contentment Charlie has in having the window open.
     Like I said these were just a few that I jotted down.  So what did I learn from this.  Something that I have known all along but maybe sometimes just need a reminder of.  That be it the big stuff, the nature stuff, the small stuff, or the simple stuff God is in it all.  It is always amazing to me how gives me exactly what i need when I need it.  The other thing I was reminded of in this little experiment life lesson was that yes He gives me all I need but I need to be open and alert to it. If I am focused so much on one thing past, present or future I am going to miss all of the other things He is presenting me with....so now I am off to focus on some hockey!!!